The Hidden Curse

UP Beauty Online

Domestic violence is a shocking and horrific part of our society, as some of us witnessed through the video mass distribution of Ray and Janay Rice’s violent altercation in a casino elevator. Most of us had either heard or read about it, and perhaps had even seen video of the aftermath, as had the NFL and Baltimore Ravens organizations in dolling out their initial punishments. But to SEE the actual act with our own eyes, to witness the punches thrown by a muscular, fit athlete as the predator and aggressor towards a basically helpless female in a closed space was undeniably disgusting and gut wrenching. And both organizations reacted accordingly.

I find it fascinating how our brains work. I can remember reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” book trilogy years ago and being totally enthralled with the series, consuming them all as an addiction, even though there was a lot of violence in each. I was so into this story line that I couldn’t wait to see the movie.

The first version of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” available was the European cut, which unbeknownst to me was much more graphic than the upcoming American version. Long story short, as I witnessed this thriller complete with the violence I had read about, I actually had to look away. I learned an interesting lesson in that moment about the impactful difference between hearing and reading versus actually seeing something with one’s own eyes.

The Hidden Curse

We rarely have video footage, as so much of domestic violence occurs behind closed doors, with the descriptions of said abuse typically only available through the verbal testimony of the victim for law enforcement and the court systems. Even then, the victims, who for the record all play their own part in these co-dependent dysfunctional relationships, rarely tell the truth about what has happened, as well as often choosing to not press charges against their mate. While I’m not meaning to place blame here, the reality is that the acceptance of a situation, for whatever the reasons, becomes a functioning part of the problem as a whole. Hopefully this video footage, with all its alarm value, as well as the resulting shock waves reverberating across our nation, will bring the reality of domestic violence to the forefront of our collective consciousness. Only when the video truth peeks out from behind the closed curtain of private lives do we fully get to comprehend the graphic brutality in high-def reality.

Deep Reaching Ramifications

Nearly as disturbing as the act itself is the apparent mishandling of this entire fiasco by the NFL, specifically the Commissioner and his office, from potentially bungling the receipt of the initial video copy of the incident inside the elevator, or possibly worse, intentionally burying it to save face, as well as a PR nightmare. Add to this the lag time of both the NFL and other teams (Carolina, Minnesota and San Francisco have players with current domestic violence legal woes) in disciplining domestic violence cases pending against their players in some fashion. Minimally a team can de-activate a player, who still gets paid by the way, but isn’t eligible to play on Sunday, if they are in limbo over enacting an eventual penalty.

It seems this violent, male driven league likes to talk out of both sides of their mouth. But when their money and image are on trial, the actions seem to be inadequate and not match the supposed company line of zero tolerance. In the NFL, as in most big business, profit and image often win out over morals.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

The complexity of this story is big, ranging from the act itself to the additional players with current legal charges pending from spousal abuse to child abuse; from the NFL launching a complete, independent investigation into how they handled the receipt of original video and the validity of the claim that no one in the NFL had seen the video before TMZ released it last week; to who’s head rolls as a result, and what kind of a major Public Relations hit the NFL and the Commissioner may take as a result.

                  “Domestic abuse, also called intimate partner violence, is the systematic suffocation of another person's spirit.”

PS: Stay tuned, this story is evolving perpetually – much more to come!

PPS: The mounting media pressure and scrutiny of this story has caused both the Minnesota Vikings and the Carolina Panthers to “deactivate” the players on their teams with domestic charges pending for Sunday’s games, 9/14/14.

Photos courtesy of the National Football League.