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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Joan Dearest

UP Beauty Online        

This is probably one of those overstated predictions we hear sports announcers make every week about one player or another, but I’m going there anyway. They truly broke the mold when Joan Rivers was created and I don’t think we’ll see another female like her again in our lifetime. Even Joan thought she was unique from an early age on, as evidenced here.

        

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Come on, where else can you find that kind of self-depreciating humor? She was born in New York where she attended Brooklyn Ethical Culture School and the Adelphi Academy. Her family, including her Russian Jewish parents and her sister, Barbara Molinsky, later moved to Larchmont. Even as a little girl, Joan knew she was special, as well as svelte.

        “I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl                    Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.”

Joan was a good student and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College in 1954 with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature and anthropology. Before entering show business, she worked at various jobs such as a tour guide at Rockefeller Center, a writer/proofreader at an advertising agency and a fashion consultant. During this period, her agent Tony Rivers advised her to change her name, so she chose Joan Rivers as her stage name. She was also a noted physical fitness nut – NOT!

         “I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

She intuitively knew along the way that she better be famous and wealthy, because she probably wouldn’t be a good mother/house wife in the normal cultural sense of the words. She was a good mother - well, most of the time. Um, maybe not...

         My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Oh dear, and the housewife part, well, no flipping way. Thank goodness for her talent and acerbic comedic rants, especially focused towards politicians and other celebrities. Fortunately she was able to cut the acidic nature of her outrageous mouth with an alternate line of self-deprecating humor.

     I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Apparently the only thing Joan Rivers hated more than housework was the aging process, or so one might assume based on her penchant for the age defying, numerous facelifts and assorted modification surgeries, also famous fodder for her self-humor attacks.

         

“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”

And finally, the late, great Joan Rivers commenting on another sacred institution, marriage, and the timeless love and respect between a husband and wife. Has it ever been more imperative for anyone to have had the talent that Joan had? Something had to support her damn shopping habit!

     “My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.”



Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better
All kidding aside, Joan Rivers was a gem and brought much joy and laughter to our world. If you believe the adage that “laughter is the best medicine”, then our darling Joan was a Master Healer! She had a unique outlook on life and she shared it with us, like it or not. I’ll never forget her as being one of the only people, man or women, to render Donald Trump speechless on The Apprentice. And she won it besides. An amazing woman, comedian, and person, she had one key to success...
I succeeded by saying what everyone else was thinking.

                                                                           Joan Rivers

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