The Eyes Have It

UP Beauty Online

Most of us have considered it, if not seriously. If we’re over 45-50 years of age, it’s probably been seriously contemplated, at least until cost was factored in. What are we talking about? A nip here or a tuck there, tightening of the skin especially in the eye area. With the inherent thinness of the skin there, our eyes tend to show the first signs of aging.

The $20 Eye Lift

In many circles, eyes are considered “the windows to the soul”. If that’s the case, our eyebrows are the frame for these windows. Obviously, a great eyebrow shaping isn’t going to remove sagging, wrinkles, or loose skin around the eye area. But an awesome brow shape can lift and frame the eye in such a way as to highlight those ‘soul windows’ so as to enhance our appearance and focal point. And the price is surely right!

Optical Illusions and Mind Games

The right brow shape, including correct proportions for the size of the face/body, as well as proper brow starting and ending points, can make or break a look. Did you know that if you have closer set or wider set eyes, the brow in regards to where the hair starts can optically ‘normalize’ the perception of the eye position on your face.

For instance, with narrow set eyes, we would want the brow hair to begin more towards our most outside starting point, directly above the inside corner of the eye. This outside brow starting point optically moves the perception of our closer set eyes back to normal. The exact opposite is true of wider set eyes – the brow hair should start in, more towards the bridge of the nose, as this narrows our point of attention, thereby optically moving our wider set eyes inward.

Issues like the thickness of the brow, arch angle, style (drama arch vs. more natural curve) also all need to be considered in finding the perfect frame for our gorgeous eyes. These shapes can be achieved by either waxing, tweezing or threading (or some combination thereof) and the result will be determined by the quality of the technician performing the service. ‘Do it yourselfer’s’ and discount shoppers will most likely be ultimately disappointed in their results.

I interviewed a friend of mine who has been shaping brows for nearly 15 years for some of this inside information, and he surprised me with some of the psychological boosting effects women mention upon finishing up their brow waxing service. He says women claim they actually feel lighter, that their eyes look younger and lifted, and generally that they just plain feel better about themselves afterwards.

Not bad for 20 bucks...

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

Sure, getting your brows done could be thought of as superficial in some ways. We often ask our readers to look beyond the surface and to go deeper, and for good reason. But self-care also equals self-love. And when getting a service for our own betterment, from a place of self-love, that is non-invasive in nature and doesn’t break the family bank, we’re all for it.

A great brow doesn’t guarantee us being stunning or supremely confident, but why not treat ourselves to the smaller treasures in life. If I get to choose between a good or bad brow shaping, the choice is pretty obvious.

   “Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.”   J Kinky Friedman

PS: Just as a great eyebrow shaping experience can bring an uplifting effect, so, too, can a bad brow job look awful and crush one’s confidence. We know there are stories out there, good and bad...so who’s got one?

Mindfulness

            “Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.

                                                                   Thich’ Nhat Hanh

Mindfulness stems from Buddhism and is defined as a state of active, open attention to the present moment. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance like a fly on the wall, without judging them as good or bad and without attachment. Instead of letting life pass you by in a blur of ‘doing’ activity, mindfulness strives for living in the moment and awakening to the experience of now through simply ‘being’.

Meditation, Yoga and other Techniques

Of course most of us relate to ‘the now’ with freeing our thoughts through various ‘being’ type activities like meditation, qigong or yoga. And while useful for some, these practices are simply tools that hopefully gain us an experience of temporary immersion in mindfulness.

The real question is, once a ‘now’ experience has come into our being, how do we duplicate it? And beyond that, how do we find it in real life as we are bombarded with outside stimuli, as opposed to only while meditating or practicing yoga? If mindfulness is experienced, then how do we spend more and more time in the now, or in a state of being rather than doing?

The Breath of Life and a Childs Perspective

In order to bring the spirit of now, or the present moment into our everyday existence, let’s steal a commonality from yoga, pain management and meditating. What is that common thread, you ask? The breath, breathing in a natural, concentrated deeper pattern and connecting with the life blood of our existence. All Eastern traditions teach the importance of the breath, and we as Westerners ‘poo poo’ the idea as ludicrous, in that for us breathing is considered a non-voluntary necessity.

It’s not that the Eastern traditions intend to harp on the obvious, but instead try to deepen our understanding of the de-stressing, anti-anxiety peace present in the proper flow and connection with our breath.

To better understand, here are a few quotes on breath from the experts, the first from Thich’ Nhat Hanh, the second from Brenda Shoshanna:

         “Breath is the bridge which connects life to your consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.”

         “We simply return to kindergarten to remember how to sit, breathe, eat, play and re-claim the excitement, joy and adventurous spirits we lost along the way.”

Ahhh, so the second ‘being’ idea, besides connecting with our breath, is to become childlike as the last quote alludes to. We come in to this world curious, joyful and open minded, and then the world beats us down. A return to that innocent, inquisitive spirit will serve us well in our pursuit of tranquility in the face of the storm.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

The degree to which we can experience mindfulness, the now, or the present moment in our everyday life will lead directly to our quality of life quotient. We can start with finding moments of peace in activities like yoga and meditation and in breathing consciously, and once this feeling is felt and understood, we must gently strive to extend it into as many moments of our waking life as possible.

PS: Ever had an experience of this nirvana? Athletes call it being “in the flow” and on the rare occurrence, usually turn in spectacular performances.

What's Your Excuse?

What's Your Excuse?

I remember reading Maria’s original “What’s your Excuse” post, re-posted by a facebook friend of mine. I was blown away by the comments that followed, mostly cutting Maria Chang down. Being personally in-shape and of a healthy, normal physique and weight despite an accelerating age, I added my own ‘soft’ comments of support to this negative firestorm. Thankfully, I managed to escape the facebook wars unscathed that day.

Photo taken from noexcusemom.com

Maria Kang – Inspiration or Chubby Basher?If you don’t know Maria yet, let’s just say she’s no nonsense. Kang has been called names like obnoxious and a self-righteous idiot, among others. She’s also been accused of cyber-bullying for matter-of-factly stating that there is no excuse for not working out. Her curt response; “What you interpret is not MY fault. It's yours.” Now, one name you definitely can’t call Maria is a hypocrite. She lives her motto with vigor, and frankly she could easily use any of the excuses we all throw out there for letting ourselves go. She’s a normal working mom of three young children under 6, works 8 hour + days, gets limited sleep, has stretch marks, is not a personal trainer or an athlete, and doesn’t have a nanny, a personal chef or any other special privileges. And Maria Kang is strong, vital and healthy looking, not skinny!

Like it or not, Maria’s facebook post controversy has brought her a hoard of adoring fans who don’t mind her unfiltered truth. In just a few months, Kang has formed the “No Excuse Moms Movement,” comprising more than 700 worldwide local groups of mothers who gather for regular, free workouts in parks and other public spaces, many using no special props other than sneakers their own body weight.“I feel like all the backlash was worth it,” Kang told Yahoo Shine. “I feel like my original image and message sparked an international dialogue that woke people up and made them question their excuses. I've always stood my ground that my intention was to inspire - and I have - and it's exciting.”

Maria’s Motivation comes from creating Healthy FamiliesWhile I’m fairly sure Kang enjoys looking like a super fitness model after 3 kids, her real ‘juice’ comes from the realization that in order to have a healthy, fit family and be a role model for children, one cannot fall victim to making excuses for why they’re not fit and healthy themselves.
For instance, children are welcomed and often join in the “No Excuse Moms Movement” workouts. Sometimes, infants are even worn in baby carriers while moms do modified movements. “I strongly believe that health starts at home,” Kang shares with Yahoo Shine, “and that in order to raise a healthy child, you need to be a healthy parent.”

One disciple of Maria’s family health philosophy is Lori Anne Hare, an Ohio mother of one, who in conjunction with Kang formed the “No Excuses Moms Challenge”, as well as publishing the 2014 Swimsuit Calendar featuring fitness forward moms. Hare is now the movements National Director, runs a local club, and is forming a “couch to 5K” runners club. Hare concedes, “My own family has had many health-related problems, and I really want to be a good example for my daughter.”Look Better, Feel Better, Live BetterMaria Kang is either a goddess or a pariah, depending on your perspective. As illustrated, her message is not for everyone. But the positive momentum of her followers is contagious and seems to work for those who need tough love and brutal honesty.With that, we applaud Maria Kang’s efforts and urge those who find her self-righteous to simply realize there are always two sides to every debate and that right and wrong is often just a matter of opinion. The important thing is not who she’s ticked off, but the multitude of lives she’s positively changed in just a short time. 

”If you want to create physical change, you need to begin with a mental makeover. If you want progress, you need to move out of your comfort zone and ask yourself an uncomfortable question -  So, what is my excuse?”
                                                                ‘Hot FB Mom’ – Maria Kang

PS: Where do you come down on the “No Excuses Mom”?

Self-Love

       “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

                                    ~ Leo Buscaglia

Self-Love Extended

In our last blog we related how our need to be perceived in a certain way (skinny, affluent, stylish, etc.) typically occurs as a lack of self-love quietly smolders as the underlying reason. We also ventured on to explore the different ways in which we see ourselves and others, including the world as a whole, once self-love has been experienced and self-actualized.

With self-love, the feeling of oneness, acceptance and belonging becomes part of us a majority of the time. It is at this point in our life that our personal responsibility to the outside world changes!

As if the Universe has beckoned us, we know intuitively that the gift we’ve received, the realization of self-love and oneness, MUST in turn be shared on a regular basis with others. As with all things Universal in nature, it’s both as simple and profound as that.

This Story says it ALL

David Wagner wrote a book called “Daymaker” which we’ll summarize for you here in a few paragraphs. He was working in his Salon one ordinary day when one of his regular clients came in for a styling. David was surprised to see her as she was right in the middle of her time between usual visits. He asked her if she had some special evening plans.

"I don't have anything special going on," she told him. "I just want to look and feel good tonight." David, doing his job enthusiastically, gave her a great scalp massage, then shampooed and styled her hair. During their 30 minutes together, they joked and laughed, and then she smiled radiantly while hugging him good-bye.

A few days later he received a letter from this same client that abruptly made him realize the enormity of treating people with compassion, empathy and love. David’s client, in her letter, admitted that she had wanted her hair styled so it would look good for her own funeral. She had planned on committing suicide that evening. But her time with David had given her hope for the future, so instead she sought help. She wrote "thank you for being there without knowing that you were."

Goosebumps, moist eyes, spine shivers...

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

Go back and read the initial quote. Were you skeptical when you read it initially? Either way, boy does it have some impact now, eh? Now, realistically, are you going to directly save a life by being nice? Most likely, no, but we truly can heal the world one smile, one compliment, one hello, one held door or one pat on the back at a time.

We’ve seen movies made, like “Pay It Forward”, that illustrate the far reaching implications of random acts of kindness. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is a hypothesis in which a small change at one place in a system can result in large differences in a later state.

Usually referenced in weather patterns and time travel fiction plots, the butterfly effect is perfectly exemplified in David’s “Daymaker” story, as well as in “Pay It Forward” as a social impact paradigm. Extrapolated out, here’s another social impact example: Joe makes Heidi smile at Starbucks; Heidi, a business owner, now feeling good from her interaction with Joe, in turn gives her employee Sara a raise; and as a result, Sara can now get tutoring for Sam, her special needs child. Amen to self-love and  butterflies!

PS: OK, who’s got a story to share that impacted someone’s life in a positive way. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as the “Daymaker” story from above...hit us with a butterfly effect or a pay it forward!