Tiffany & Co.

UP Beauty Online

  “When we think of the most common deadly diseases we usually think of Aids, Cancer, Diabetes, Obesity or Heart Disease, among others. We (Klemmer & Assoc.) say the most deadly, and the most common disease is the need to be “right”. As this particular strain of needing to be right makes everyone else wrong, it is both divisive and toxic to all relationships, from interpersonal to international.”

                   - paraphrased from a Personal Mastery Seminar, Klemmer and Associates

   

The world and how it operates can be a funny thing. And we’re not talking funny as in ha-ha, either, but rather funny as in quirky, ironic and sometimes very backwards in nature. The issues are most always influenced by power, money and control and that is why organizations, especially when political and/or religious in nature, rely on exclusion as a rallying cry despite what they may broadcast in their PR and marketing mantras. You see, exclusion makes organizations powerful, or so they think, because their members can band and bond together over one ideology or another, in essence issuing a war with those who believe otherwise.

This narrow focused ‘oneness’ amongst group members causes every form of division, from verbal spats all the way up to violent wars. And it’s not just organizations and countries that are afflicted. There is a saying that you can either be right or be married (or in a successful relationship). In a word, the take away is that the Ego-centric need to be “right” destroys every association from individual relationships to global allegiances.

A Positive for the Fashion Industry

We have on occasion taken pot shots at various members of the fashion industry for some of the heinous ways they tend to shape public perception. This, especially when undermining the self-confidence and self-esteem of women with ads and promotions touting unreasonable and unattainable physical expectations in regards to weight and appearance. And in our defense, we’ve even found a random occasion or two to applaud those in the fashion business who seem to buck those destructive industry trends (plus size models and real life mannequins, to name a few).

We at UP Beauty are all about INCLUSION, pure and simple. Inclusion, of course being the polar opposite of exclusion, as discussed earlier. Well, applaud-applaud, we have another trend-bucking fashion company to celebrate. Enter the new Tiffany and Co’s ad campaign for their time-honored, classic engagement rings. Only this particular marketing movement features two gay men, who by the way are not models, but real life partners. Who knew there were little boys who dreamed of getting a Tiffany blue box from their partner after popping the big question? Of course we are teasing, and so enthralled with Tiffany and Co. for taking a stand and voting, as we do, for inclusion!

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

As thinking humans, we need to be careful to evaluate the nonsensical rhetoric that gets passed on to us under the guise of sensible information. Give everything you hear that has power over you the intuition test (in other words, the ‘b.s.’ test). Do not be swayed by repetitive messages that don’t personally resonate. Pick apart the drivel that gets projected your way and tap into your values, morals and your spiritual side.

When we slow down enough to contemplate life and it’s choices for ourselves, the path and focus of our lives can then reflect the true us, the kind, compassionate, logical and clear thinking individual that can’t be swayed against his or her will. This person will likely see the value in loving all people as equals, or in other words, inclusion at its very best.

                “There are no nations. There is only humanity. And if we don't come to understand that soon, there will be no nations   because there will be no humanity."
           -- Isaac Asimov

PS: There are different levels of inclusion, from warmly embracing a philosophy or an ideal to just simply agreeing to disagree with it, minus the animosity or need to convert. A softer, gentle stance is still a stance. J

In Remembrance

        “I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.                  
                                          - Martin Luther King Jr.

   

In this blog we’ll start a discussion on the topic of inclusion vs. exclusion and will elaborate further in a subsequent blog referencing a Tiffany and Co. ad campaign. And what better way to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his National holiday Monday than to give some insight into the history of his life and times. If there ever was an eternal optimist, one who believed love and equality was the answer, it was Dr. King. Of course, like many other martyrs and visionaries of peace, he was abused, condemned and ultimately died because his light shone too bright.

                  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

A Brief History Lesson

Martin Luther King came from a family of pastors, with his grand dad and papa both having frequented the pulpit. Is it any wonder his oratory skills were so awe inspiring? He continued that tradition in the beginning of his career, but by accepting leadership of the first non-violent demonstration in 1955, it changed both his course as well as the course of discrimination in America. This bussing boycott protesting the segregation of blacks and whites lasted 382 days and ended in a victory. On December 21, 1956, after the Supreme Court declared the laws requiring segregation on buses unconstitutional, Negroes and whites rode the buses as equals for the first time. During the days of this boycott, Dr. King’s home was bombed and he was subjected to much personal abuse, as well as being arrested, but he came out the other end as a Negro leader of the first rank.              

Elected in 1957 as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, an organization leading the then escalating civil rights movement, King implemented principles he took from Christianity along with operational techniques from Gandhi, proving his openness to cultural and religious tolerance.  All the while he drove the registration of Negroes as voters and in one of his major coup d'état’s, he directed a peaceful rally in Washington, D.C. with over 250,000 people coalescing. It was here he delivered his famous address, "l Have a Dream".

              “I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

Martin Luther King conferred with President John F. Kennedy and campaigned for President Johnson; he was arrested upwards of twenty times and assaulted at least four times; he was awarded five honorary degrees; was named Man of the Year by Time magazine in 1963; and became the symbolic leader of American blacks but beyond that, a world figure.

“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.”

Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to receive the Nobel Peace Prize at age thirty-five. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money to further racial equality and the civil rights movement in America.

“I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its Governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as brothers and sisters.”

On the evening of April 4, 1968, standing on the balcony of his motel room in Memphis, Tennessee, he was shot and killed.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

Looking at what Dr. King did and sacrificed, including his very life, for inclusion and non-discrimination, for oneness and brotherhood and for equality for all, one must ask: What have I done lately to further this cause? Listen, we are not all Martin Luther King material, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t take consistent baby steps in keeping the soul of togetherness emitting its message of love and hope. Together we can.

“...we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing, ‘free at last!...‘“                                                                                                             

                                         ~ MLK, “I Have a Dream”

PS: Contributing to inclusion, as well as damning exclusion, starts in our homes. What do we model for our children? It is essential that each generation shows progress in the march towards equality and acceptance.

Beauty Pageants

            "Being a little Barbie doll says your body has to be a certain way and your hair has to be a certain way. In girls particularly, this can unleash a whole complex of destructive self-experiences that can lead to eating disorders and all kinds of body distortions in terms of body image."

    - William Pinsof, Clinical Psychologist, Northwestern University

There is a story of a Beauty Pageant participant who pranced across the stages from a very early age, more specifically from the time she was 4 years old. Mari Wilensky was a driven pageant participant from Jacksonville, Fla., always smiling as she crossed the stage as a child, even participating in the swimsuit competitions. And she was good at it. Incredibly, Mari won 250 pageant trophies by the age of 7 and in her mind, was gearing up for the biggest prize of all, the Miss America title. But that’s not whole the story.

Mari claims that when she took a break from competing, around middle school, her life began to fall apart. Of course, she also claims her mother didn’t drive her to participate in those early years, it was all her doing. Here’s how Mari describes her fall from grace experience: "I ended up having a lot of self-image and body-image issues," she says. "I actually was affected by an eating disorder. That was a really tough part of my life." Hmmm....

Happily (?) she began competing again and eventually finished in the top 10 of the Miss America Pageant, quite an accomplishment. She used her scholarship money to obtain a Masters degree in clinical social work and now works as a private practice psychotherapist in Florida. Kind of sounds like a success story, doesn’t it?

Mommy Dearest & the Alter Ego of Child Beauty Pageants

First of all, congratulations to Mari for pulling out of a bad situation and making something out of her life. But let’s not overlook some important information that seems to be swept under the carpet here. First, how many 4 year olds, without a push, whether gentle or full-force from their mommies, want to compete in Beauty Pageants? It seems to us, whether sports, performing, singing, or any other endeavor that a parent chooses for their child, that it is just plain sick and wrong for a guardian to live out an unrealized dream of theirs through their child. Did this happen here? Only they know for sure, but my guess is yes. For your information, her mom now owns a store that sells Beauty Pageant clothes and paraphernalia. You be the judge.

And what of Mari’s body image dilemma? There was no mention of the pre-pubescent Beauty Pageants as the possible CAUSE of this problem, but only a hint that NOT doing the pageant tour caused her world to crash in the form of an eating disorder. Really, are we missing something here? Is it possible, or likely, that the sexual objectification of a young girl not old enough to have an original thought, combined with being ranked and rated by strangers like a piece of meat based on looks might just screw up one’s  sense of self-worth? Could it be that this never occurred to either Mari or her mom? Denial (de Nile), folks, is not just a river in Africa.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

And while we applaud Mari again for coming out the other side, we’re pretty sure we wouldn’t use her as a clinical psychologist based on this information. Parents, don’t you dare push your children in a direction based on your own unfulfilled ego demands. Let them try things, find out through trial and error where their true talents and interests lie, and facilitate them in growing into these endeavors with gentle encouragement. Otherwise, you may be on the other end of a quote like this, or worse, the cause of a young life of unnecessary turmoil.

               “I stand and feel an overpowering urge to forgive, because I realize that my father couldn't help himself, that he never could help himself, any more than he could understand himself.”
                      ― Andre Agassi 

PS: It’s not about us, it’s about the children!

Unwrapping The Holidays

“The image and model of a crash test dummy hasn't changed much throughout the decades, but now Humanetics is forced to develop a heftier crash test dummy to better represent growing obesity trends in the U.S.”

For an illustration of this current weight trend, Humanetics' obese dummy will now weigh in at 273 pounds with a body mass index of 35. This in response to studies that have shown obese individuals are much more likely to die in car accidents, as the heavy middle weight disbursement (ie: middle bulge) causes them to get out of position in typical seats. The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, has classified obese individuals as those with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or more. According to the CDC, over one-third of Americans are obese. So, are we proud of ourselves yet?

Holiday Complexities and Caloric Catastrophes

Listen, let’s just state the obvious and get it out of the way once and for all. Most of us, regardless of our starting weight before the Holiday Season, have gotten fatter over the holidays.  I could have said ‘we all gained a few pounds’ to soften the blow, but with over 33% of us already statistically OBESE, maybe nice isn’t working anymore. It might be time to be frank for once and call a spade, a spade.

At the same time, we’re not here to simply pile on and be part of the existing problem, but perhaps to offer solutions for dancing around some of the seasonal weight-inducing land mines common to most of our Holiday experiences. If we are to succeed against historically daunting weight-gain trending during the Holidays, perhaps we need to consider a method of personal operation that isn’t the norm. If we abide by a common definition of insanity, that being ‘doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting something to change’, then it is clear we need to do something different to stop the national waistline expansion movement.

It has been claimed that the average American gains 5 lbs. or more during the Holiday Season. These claims have not been substantiated, and one study found the gain to be less. That’s the good news. The bad news is that even if its 2-3 lbs., the same study found that we don’t usually take that weight gain off, so if we add it up over 10, 20, or 30 years, obesity can be potentially visible in all of our futures if we are not careful.

As we celebrate, food and drink are always in the forefront of our Holiday gatherings. So what to do now? For next year, my first suggestion is a preemptive strike. How about a 10 day cleanse, a full month of everyday workouts or anything else that might actually take a few off before Holiday time? Two years ago I lost 14 lbs. BETWEEN Thanksgiving and Christmas with something called the 24 Day Challenge and I’ve been at my target weight ever since. Whatever health related weight loss/management tools you employ, get on it now so that you might guiltlessly indulge within limits for 2015's Holidays.

       “Most things in life are easy to lose, and hard to gain. Unfortunately, this isn't in the case for weight...”

                                                                        ~ Unknown

PS: We @ UP Beauty wish you a healthy and prosperous 2015!