Joan Dearest

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This is probably one of those overstated predictions we hear sports announcers make every week about one player or another, but I’m going there anyway. They truly broke the mold when Joan Rivers was created and I don’t think we’ll see another female like her again in our lifetime. Even Joan thought she was unique from an early age on, as evidenced here.

        

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Come on, where else can you find that kind of self-depreciating humor? She was born in New York where she attended Brooklyn Ethical Culture School and the Adelphi Academy. Her family, including her Russian Jewish parents and her sister, Barbara Molinsky, later moved to Larchmont. Even as a little girl, Joan knew she was special, as well as svelte.

        “I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl                    Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.”

Joan was a good student and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College in 1954 with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature and anthropology. Before entering show business, she worked at various jobs such as a tour guide at Rockefeller Center, a writer/proofreader at an advertising agency and a fashion consultant. During this period, her agent Tony Rivers advised her to change her name, so she chose Joan Rivers as her stage name. She was also a noted physical fitness nut – NOT!

         “I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

She intuitively knew along the way that she better be famous and wealthy, because she probably wouldn’t be a good mother/house wife in the normal cultural sense of the words. She was a good mother - well, most of the time. Um, maybe not...

         “My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.”

Oh dear, and the housewife part, well, no flipping way. Thank goodness for her talent and acerbic comedic rants, especially focused towards politicians and other celebrities. Fortunately she was able to cut the acidic nature of her outrageous mouth with an alternate line of self-deprecating humor.

     “I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”

Apparently the only thing Joan Rivers hated more than housework was the aging process, or so one might assume based on her penchant for the age defying, numerous facelifts and assorted modification surgeries, also famous fodder for her self-humor attacks.

         

“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”

And finally, the late, great Joan Rivers commenting on another sacred institution, marriage, and the timeless love and respect between a husband and wife. Has it ever been more imperative for anyone to have had the talent that Joan had? Something had to support her damn shopping habit!

     “My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.”

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All kidding aside, Joan Rivers was a gem and brought much joy and laughter to our world. If you believe the adage that “laughter is the best medicine”, then our darling Joan was a Master Healer! She had a unique outlook on life and she shared it with us, like it or not. I’ll never forget her as being one of the only people, man or women, to render Donald Trump speechless on The Apprentice. And she won it besides. An amazing woman, comedian, and person, she had one key to success...

“I succeeded by saying what everyone else was thinking.”

                                                                           Joan Rivers

The Big Leak

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If someone broke into your house and stole, let’s say, some intimate or naked snapshots, and sold it to Tabloid for mass distribution, would you feel violated? We could all pretty much categorize this as a criminal act, and the ‘blame’ most likely wouldn’t be directed towards you for shooting the sensual photos in the first place. The perpetrators of the initial theft (as well as the Tabloid) would be the ones in the wrong for stealing (and printing) your private property.

So how is this different from cyber criminals ‘jacking intimate celebrity shots off the cloud or where ever they hacked them from recently? It really isn’t any different. It’s simply the modern, current version of the physical theft described in the first paragraph; the social media edition of someone’s, especially if famous, worst nightmare.

In regards to the individuals who were the victimized in this recent hacking and posting episode, why then are they the ones to receive blame in this instance? There seems to be an awful lot of insinuation, condemnation and indifference circulating out there, and I, for one, can’t see a cognitive difference between scenarios one and two.

Are These People for Real?

I picked up comments like, “She shouldn't have had nude ‘pics’ if she didn't want them out in public”, in reading about most prominently, the Jennifer Lawrence situation in a variety of published articles. Really, that’s the logic? And no, I did not visit any of the sites to view the hacked pictures in question as in my opinion, that makes me part of this problem.

And my favorite, an apparent correlation that not only doesn’t make sense as a stand-alone statement, but is even more ridiculous as an analogy to our topic. This from a facebook response to an on-line article heavily weighted towards placing the ‘wrong’ on the hackers, not the famous people who were cyber violated; "You know what's stupid? Carrying money in your wallet. You really need to leave your money in your bank account. 


You are just asking for someone to steal it. Don't blame the person pick-pocketing, they are just trying to make a few dollars like a normal person." (I didn’t list this individuals name on purpose, figuring I’d save her the further embarrassment.)

Huh? What ‘normal’ people do you know that are professional thieves? And how the hell is carrying money asking for it to be stolen? It becomes awfully apparent that one of the real problems of the social media age is that people who have ‘no basis’ being heard on a national stage are quoted at will. And yes, I know I just became a victim of my own criticism, quoting two people who apparently were experiencing a moronic moment, but it was only to make my point here.

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Wow, how much are we in need of some common sense? Maybe there’s plenty of it available, but because of the far reaches of social media we just hear from those without it more and more as opinions gurgle up from the depths of those previously not heard from before. And let me be clear, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and my name calling isn’t exactly nice (although I only refer to the nonsensical nature of what they said, not to them as people), but if you are going to publically make comments that appear to make you look ‘not so smart’ in the moment, then you open yourself up to others comments and opinions.

And, whoa, hold the presses, maybe, just maybe I need to learn to be more accepting of others opinions and thus, less critical. I just found a great quote on social media to finish with that kind of makes me eat crow for my harsh stance. Oh pooh and damn you, Joe Hill, I hate crow.

“Social media is teaching us that everyone (screws) up, everyone is stupid sometimes, and that this is probably part of being a thinking human being. The one exception are those who participate in the self-righteousness Olympics and they often turn people who agree with them against 'em.”                                                                                                                                                      Joe Hill

PS: So I just shot myself in the foot, lol – did you ever have to eat crow before? Tell us. Maybe I need to plan my final quote out in advance next time! 

The Crossover

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In hoop (slang for basketball, girls) terminology, ‘taking someone on a crossover move’ would describe dribbling hard to one side with a juke, then explosively crossing over with a dribble the other way, thereby blowing by the defender to score or get an assist.

In our terms and for the context of this blog, our heroine’s strong ‘crossover’ move represents something VERY different. Meet the NBA San Antonio Spurs (men’s Professional League) first and only full-time female assistant coach, Becky Hammons, formerly a WNBA (women’s Professional League) star player for the San Antonio Stars. Now that’s an unprecedented ‘crossover’ move, and to this point, wildly innovative considering our typical Cro-Magnon mentality toward women entering into men’s professional sports coaching circles.

The Real Deal

Becky first connected with Gregg Popovich, head coach for the San Antonio Spurs, sitting next to him on a flight back from the 2012 London Olympics, where she played ball for team Russia. Needless to say, she made a great first impression on Pop (Gregg’s nickname). They actually spoke of several topics much worldlier that basketball, including politics, wine and the history and culture of Russia, where Hammons had played professionally during the W.N.B.A. off-season.

The conversation did eventually make a ‘round about back to the game they both loved, basketball, prompting Pop to initiate, as Hammons recalls, this brief Q and A:

Pop: “So if you were an assistant for me and I asked you something, you’d tell me the truth?”                                                                         
Becky: “I don’t know why else you’d ask if you didn’t want me to tell the truth.”
Pop: “Good, I don’t want a bunch of ‘yes men’.”

Two things are of interest here. One Pop used ‘yes men’, a fascinating Freudian slip; and, two, this verbal miscue foreshadows some revolutionary events to come.

Our story picks up again after Becky suffered a serious knee injury in-season 2013, tearing her anterior cruciate ligament to be specific. Unbeknownst to her, this season ending injury was indeed fortuitous, if the end result is considered carefully.

While rehabbing her knee, she spent the 2013-14 season as a coaching intern with the Spurs as they won their fifth title. When Pop asked her opinion, true to form, she did not hesitate to give it.

With her playing career fading to black, Becky made it known to Pop that she had ambitions to coach full-time. Popovich, possessing a diverse and global view of basketball, was intrigued to say the least, but knew hiring a female like Hammons just for the sake of doing it would set the process back irreparably. They both knew she had to be qualified, capable and the right fit for the job, regardless of her sex. 

Last week, as the Spurs hired Becky Hammon, Pop’s statement never mentioned she was a woman. He said instead that, “Having observed her working with our team this past season, I’m confident her basketball I.Q., work ethic and interpersonal skills will be a great benefit to the Spurs.”

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The women warriors we highlight sometimes in our weekly installments here are true heroes and role models. They simply don’t want the rules changed for them in order to succeed. They want to compete on a level playing field, without favors based on gender or to the contrary, sexist limitations. Just give them a level field and a fair shot. Read on and watch the history of winners repeat itself.

Becky was not even drafted by the W.N.B.A. out of college, but she made herself into a six-time All-Star. She was ignored by USA Basketball, so she became a dual citizen and played twice in the Olympics for Russia. And Hammons was warned as a young girl by her dad that she could not hope to compete in the professional basketball ranks but she now joins the N.B.A as a full-time coach. Win, win, and win! Remember...

         “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”\

PS: What do you think about Becky’s epic “crossover” move? Hip us!

Remembering Robin

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Robin Williams took his life on August 12^th. As for the reasons, that will be debated for lifetimes as one of the funniest, zaniest men on our planet ended his time with us and will be missed greatly. The question that remains, seemingly suspended in our waves of sorrow, is how could a man that made so many laugh and howl, and even cry, subsequently feeling better about themselves, how could this comedic genius feel so alone and desolate as to voluntarily leave this world?

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.”

Maybe he lost his spark. We now know more and more about his documented struggles with drug and alcohol addiction seemingly in response to a condition of recurring deep depression. I guess only Robin knows the undocumented ones.

We’ll all have our theories on why Robin, sadly for us, bailed on his life. This quote fuels my theory. It’s now clear what’s to blame - damn Okra.

“Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.”

A Genuine, Generous Soul

Amongst his star studded colleagues, words like kind, compassionate, genuine, caring, real, inspiring, generous, unstoppable energy poured from their lips when asked to comment on Robin’s impact on them and his legacy after his sudden passing.

It makes one wonder, if he could make the best of the best feel this way and had that kind of power and impact on the world at large, what happened when the cameras weren’t rolling and the room was empty that caused him such angst and hopelessness.

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

After several stints in rehab, maybe reality was just too much. They say that genius is just an instant away from madness. And drugs and alcohol, done in addictive fashion, can damage and affect the brain in the specific areas of forethought, empathy and impulse control. Or maybe he left us prematurely simply because he was a man.

“See, the problem is that God gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Had Robin, which is of course one of those, ‘can go either way’ names, just stayed in the Mrs. Doubtfire character as a proper Scottish nanny, perhaps he would still be with us. Naw, it probably wouldn’t have mattered.

“If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. But they’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."

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I hope it’s evident that my rudimentary attempts at humor are in honor of Robin Williams, and not in disrespect to him in any way. If one can possibly love another that they know not at all but through stage and screen, then I loved Robin Williams.

His death shines a light on the need for open hearts and compassion, on keeping an eye out for how we might lend a listening ear or words of encouragement, never knowing, even when someone seems to have it all together, successful and funny on the outside, that they may be suffering immeasurably on the inside. And on the value of life and the importance of seeking help, of never giving up, of understanding how the light in each of us helps our world shine brightly.

PS: One of Robin’s calling cards, and perhaps my favorite trait, was his audacious disregard for boundaries. He always colored outside the lines. What is your fav personality quirk of Robin Williams?