Confidence

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“Even as our understanding of confidence expanded, however, we found that our original suspicion was dead-on: there is a particular crisis for women—a vast confidence gap that separates the sexes. Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities. This disparity stems from factors ranging from upbringing to biology.”         

             ~ from The Confidence Gap, by Katty Kay and Claire Shipmen

Discrimination, Male Alliance, or Something Else?

We all know women have been discriminated against in the work force, sometimes in society, for eons; they’ve been fighting an uphill battle, butting heads with the proverbial glass ceiling for decades and many, over time, have blamed “the good ole’ boys” network that invariably exists in Corporations and Government, or wherever high-level, top management types in male form seem to dominate.

So why, exactly, are women not closer to their male counterparts in status and job standing? The chances are that some of our pre-existing ideas and bias on why women are not equal are partially valid, but is that all there is? Could it really just be some men’s collusion effort, an underground, covert conspiracy secretly on the books to keep females down? Some would now argue that a self-esteem gap definitively exists between men and women, a chasm in confidence separating the sexes that may be a contributing factor towards this incongruence in equality.

Why the Gap?

Some attribute this confidence gap between the sexes to simple genetics, some to biological (maternal) factors. Others will point to the institutional and cultural barriers that women grow up with. But the lack of confidence is now evolving as a common, underlying problem with other factors overlaying in various degrees of magnitude.

And let’s make something perfectly clear – the same self-confidence deficiency tendencies also manifest themselves in men, just not to the degree women seem to suffer from them. Men also seem to get beyond their doubt much quicker, easier and more often than their female counterparts. And one thing has been found to be undeniable: confidence and success are as equally intertwined as competence and success are.

What is perhaps even more shocking, the fact that even the women who have “made it” to the top, those considered successful and powerful in each of their individual areas of expertise, also seem to suffer from the same confidence gap malaise as the more general women’s population pool. Top female producers interviewed used comments like, “I feel like a fraud some days”, or questioned, “Was I the best choice for that promotion?” to stating, “I’m not sure I’m the one to lead this company”.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

So what to do? First, stop trying to be perfect. Perfectionism takes a lot of time and kills productivity and confidence. Second, somehow, through genetics and cultural conditioning (sports maybe), men take failure and turn it into perseverance, while females link failure to quitting. Do not stop trying. And finally, YOU, and only you, are responsible for your own confidence and self-worth – do not let ANYONE steal that from you!

         “Success, it turns out, correlates just as closely with confidence as it does with competence. No wonder that women, despite all our progress, are still woefully underrepresented at the highest levels.”                                         

                                                               ~ from The Confidence Gap

PS: Questions, comments, suggestions...look for our companion blog, part II, on women who have beaten and defied all odds and bridged the gap!