Transformation

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“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love & affection”.                                                                                                                                                                   ~ Buddha

Thin to Win?

There seems to be a paradigm shift upon us, one that Up Beauty is all about. Thin used to be the measurement for sex appeal; HEALTHY, STRONG and FIT are now the new sexy!

How many times have you seen “too thin” models portrayed as role models for the fashion trendy? The hidden message is “this is what we should look like”. And most recently, the winner of this year’s ‘Biggest Loser’ show. We, quite frankly, were taken aback by the extent of her weight loss and her frail appearance in her final weigh-in clothes. For us, too thin is now sickly, not sexy. 

How does Self-Love tie in?

It’s time for some tough love on self-love. If we’re honest with ourselves, our need to be perceived in any particular way (skinny, affluent, happy, etc.) by others comes from uncertainty, fear, and a lack of self-love. This drives many things, with bodily image being very high on the list.

Self-love comes from acceptance. This means accepting what is, but certainly with the option of making positive changes where appropriate. The issue becomes where the need for change is coming from.

If we choose to become better in any way while feeling already worthy and loved, while exuding quiet confidence and stability, then thumbs up to self-expansion. But when the change process burn stems from an internal self- loathing, from lack and low self-esteem, a positive movement towards improvement becomes tainted as it’s driven by self-disdain. It’s paramount to figure out the source of our self-enhancement needs and adjust accordingly.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

When we have the courage to let our walls down, to know and embrace ourselves despite our imperfections, we become vulnerable. And while human brains are wired for survival, leading to competition, they’re also conditioned for empathy. We can relate when we see other people's pain.

Two things happen when we allow vulnerability into our lives: others actually can relate to us in more loving ways, and we break down the personal walls that limit us. By becoming more mindful of our thoughts and feelings while knowing and accepting our vulnerabilities, we, as well as others, learn to love us for us.

I got some sage advice many, many years ago and it goes something like this: We need to learn to love ourselves (and others) both for who we are, but more importantly for who we aren’t. When this metamorphosis takes hold, the result is that we lose our need to be accepted as we understand that we already are. That awesome feeling of being one in the world, as opposed to an alien in a foreign land, is priceless.

From this fantastic feeling of self-love, needing to appear thin (or wealthy, or perfect) will appear silly, at best. When we truly embrace ourselves as good enough, how we see things changes. Healthy, strong and fit will be the only thing good enough for the one you love – YOU!
 

PS: Has this “skinny” obsession ever taken hold of you? Do you have a friend or two that you see this trend in? Any diet yo-yo stories? Remember, vulnerability is a great place for beginning a positive transformation. Open up friends, we’re all about empathy, love and support...