Remembering Robin

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Robin Williams took his life on August 12^th. As for the reasons, that will be debated for lifetimes as one of the funniest, zaniest men on our planet ended his time with us and will be missed greatly. The question that remains, seemingly suspended in our waves of sorrow, is how could a man that made so many laugh and howl, and even cry, subsequently feeling better about themselves, how could this comedic genius feel so alone and desolate as to voluntarily leave this world?

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.”

Maybe he lost his spark. We now know more and more about his documented struggles with drug and alcohol addiction seemingly in response to a condition of recurring deep depression. I guess only Robin knows the undocumented ones.

We’ll all have our theories on why Robin, sadly for us, bailed on his life. This quote fuels my theory. It’s now clear what’s to blame - damn Okra.

“Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.”

A Genuine, Generous Soul

Amongst his star studded colleagues, words like kind, compassionate, genuine, caring, real, inspiring, generous, unstoppable energy poured from their lips when asked to comment on Robin’s impact on them and his legacy after his sudden passing.

It makes one wonder, if he could make the best of the best feel this way and had that kind of power and impact on the world at large, what happened when the cameras weren’t rolling and the room was empty that caused him such angst and hopelessness.

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

After several stints in rehab, maybe reality was just too much. They say that genius is just an instant away from madness. And drugs and alcohol, done in addictive fashion, can damage and affect the brain in the specific areas of forethought, empathy and impulse control. Or maybe he left us prematurely simply because he was a man.

“See, the problem is that God gave men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Had Robin, which is of course one of those, ‘can go either way’ names, just stayed in the Mrs. Doubtfire character as a proper Scottish nanny, perhaps he would still be with us. Naw, it probably wouldn’t have mattered.

“If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. But they’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

I hope it’s evident that my rudimentary attempts at humor are in honor of Robin Williams, and not in disrespect to him in any way. If one can possibly love another that they know not at all but through stage and screen, then I loved Robin Williams.

His death shines a light on the need for open hearts and compassion, on keeping an eye out for how we might lend a listening ear or words of encouragement, never knowing, even when someone seems to have it all together, successful and funny on the outside, that they may be suffering immeasurably on the inside. And on the value of life and the importance of seeking help, of never giving up, of understanding how the light in each of us helps our world shine brightly.

PS: One of Robin’s calling cards, and perhaps my favorite trait, was his audacious disregard for boundaries. He always colored outside the lines. What is your fav personality quirk of Robin Williams? 

The Growing Popularity of Breastfeeding

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“Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for up to six months of age. Continue breastfeeding along with appropriate complimentary foods up to two years of age or beyond...”

                                                              World Health Organization

As National Breast Feeding Week wrapped up a few weeks ago, many news articles and segments were produced to celebrate and elaborate on the age old nursing practice. Some statistical highlights below:

- According to the latest Breastfeeding Report Card from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, breastfeeding rates in the United States are on the rise with 79% of babies born in 2011 having been breastfed.

- Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi and West Virginia had breastfeeding rates below 65% as Southeastern states lagged behind the National average. Western states California, Montana, Oregon and Washington led the nation with breastfeeding rates above 90%.

- Only about 50% of infants were still breastfeeding at 6 months even though The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that breast- feeding continue for at least 12 months.

Public and Corporate Breastfeeding Policy – A Perspective

With breastfeeding clearly on the rise, there are even more reasons for the general public, as well as the world of commerce, to openly embrace this sacred bonding and nurturing practice between a mom and her newborn. In this world gone crazy, with social media likes and comments instead of conversations, video conferencing over face-to-face exposure, etc., the last thing we need as a society is to hinder intimate contact between mother and child, say nothing of obstructing home-grown nourishment. This, of course, assumes that discretion is the better part of valor, or in other words, breastfeeding tolerance and acceptance doesn’t give women the right to unnecessarily flaunt or expose themselves in public.

Businesses that don’t give their female employees both accommodations and the latitude to breastfeed, or at least pump as a last resort, should go the way of the dinosaurs - extinction. And the stores/shopping areas that cause issue with breastfeeding mothers deserve the PR nightmare they often incur from such actions. We must remember that a hungry baby keeps no exact feeding schedule, and as such, will be hungry at some of the most “inconvenient” times possible. Some of the newer, more progressive malls and shopping centers have “family” areas where breastfeeding can be done more conveniently, while entertaining older siblings as well.

It occurs to me that most women probably don’t treasure public breastfeeding, as ultimately it can be much more enjoyable and stress free in a private, quiet, intimate setting like ones home. But in order for new moms to have any mobility what-so-ever, it is inevitable that public feedings will be necessary some of the time. It is here that common sense and empathy need to be the driving force, both for the mother and those around her, possibly including the store or business owner.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

In the September issue of Glamour Magazine, Olivia Wilde, new mother (April) to baby Otis with her fiancé Jason Sudeikis, discusses breastfeeding her 4 month old son. Along with the interview, a beautiful  picture of her nursing Otis accompanies the piece.

    “Being shot with Otis is so perfect because any portrait of me right now isn’t complete without my identity as a mother being a part of that," Wilde said. "Breastfeeding is the most natural thing. I don’t know, now it feels like Otis should always be on my breast."

Olivia Wilde to Glamour

PS: What are your feelings on breastfeeding? Do you have any experiences, either positive or negative, that you’d like to share with us?

Misty Copeland's Under Armour

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“Dear Candidate,

Thank you for your application to our Ballet Academy. Unfortunately, you have not been accepted. You’ve not the right feet, Achilles tendons, turnout, torso length and bust. You have the wrong body for Ballet. And at 13, you are too old to be considered.”               

       Rejection letter to Misty Copeland, current Ballerina Soloist, American Ballet Theatre

LOVE this Ad (Bravo UNDER ARMOUR)

Watch this: 

Wow, that’s spine tingling. Now, let’s back track, while I eat some crow.

As a big fan of “So You Think You Can Dance”, and like many of you, I’ve seen Misty as a guest judge on this program. I am not particularly hip to the Ballet scene, so my only previous exposure to her was as a judge on that show. Frankly, my first experience of her was not that positive, as I found her personality to be on the abrasive side. Some of her comments as one of the judges seemed to me a bit harsh and edgy. Just my opinion, mind you, but a perceived snippy personality trait alone will put one on my unfavorable side.

So after learning more about her, prompted by this awesome ad campaign and the subsequent interview I saw on national TV shortly thereafter, I have to cut her some slack, big time. I need to eat crow for my pre-mature judgment of Misty based only on her comments from a TV show. From what I’ve been able to garner, she deserves to come off as a strong expert and be able to constructively criticize those dancers of lesser talent. God only knows what harsh criticism, as well as rejection, she’s had to withstand over the years. Misty’s reached the pinnacle of her profession, having had to swim upstream the whole way. As the current Under Armour ad states, “I Will What I Want”, which celebrates the will to find inner strength to blaze your own trail and follow no one.

Misty Copeland is both driven and intense, and this comes forth in her words, mannerisms and even appearance, all of which might give a one-time viewer the wrong first impression of her. They always say, and I apparently needed this lesson repeated, ‘don’t judge another until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes’.

A Long Walk in Misty’s (Pointed) Shoes

Misty Copeland had it rough early on, the first daughter of an ex-NFL cheerleader who was married and divorced 3 times, birthed 2 more children and dragged her family around like luggage from boyfriend to boyfriend, spending time in various parts of California. Misty worked hard in school to compensate for the lack of family stability and structure, but was overly anxious all the time. Finally at 13, a middle school drill team coach honed in on her superior athleticism and directed her towards dance, which she eventually came to love despite the rocky (and late) start.

Her first time at the barre, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, she hated ballet. But once she tried on the slippers and leotard at Cynthia Bradley’s Academy, she fell in love and finally felt she belonged. At last Misty had the structured outlet that she craved. In less than 3 months she was dancing en pointe, a skill normally accomplished after years of training. None the less, it still wasn’t easy, as with a muscular, curvy, African American body type, she definitely did not fit the stereotype of a ballet dancer. But with a steel will, passion unbridled, and the talent to match, she went on to flourish at the top of her field.

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

Lessons of perseverance, willing what you want, as well as not judging a book by its cover, permeate our piece. The lesson you relate with most will be as individual as your DNA, but hopefully in life we keep our eyes and ears open in the hope that we can learn, grow and improve continually.

                “It's not the will to win that matters—everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters."

Paul "Bear" Bryant

PS: Have you ever been guilty, as I was, of judging too quickly? Tell us!     

The Impossible Standard

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 “Boggie is a Hungarian singer who released this video in 2013 about what we do to the already-beautiful human body to sell an unattainable ideal. Even if you've seen this already, it's worth seeing again.”

What Are We Doing To Ourselves?

Models do it. Actors and Actresses do it. Marketing manipulators do it. Makeup painted on so thickly as to need a spatula to remove it; photos and images air brushed and photo-shopped to nearly unrecognizable status in terms of recognition and perceived perfection.

The Impossible Standard marches on, enabling those of us with lurking insecurities (almost all of us, on some level) to be compulsively freaked out, propelled into racing ‘round and ‘round on the hamster wheel of “not good enough”, until we collapse in a pile of self loathing, not only for what we can’t possibly attain but also hating on ourselves for wanting it so bad.

This not only goes for the obvious body images (weight & breasts, most specifically), but also skin conditions, facial attributes, tans, hair, fashion and anything else we can beat ourselves up about. I have a friend who is a rare male in the skin care (esthetician) field, and the #1 complaint women have about their skin, assuming they are not sporting an acne condition or older than dirt, is that their pores are too big.

The interesting issue here is that a huge majority of them don’t have big pores at all! It’s just that the examples they see on a continual basis are images of women with no pores showing due to the Impossible Standard of fake perfection. It’s like trying to compare your weight or physique to a ripped actress, model or sports figure – you lose, even if you are well above average in 
build and BMI (body mass index) ratios. Don’t do it!

Magnifying Mirrors and Fluorescent Lighting

Even when we think we’ve got it all going on, all we have to do for a quick dive into depression is to look at our skin in a magnifying mirror; or go try on some bathing suits in a department store changing room complete with the most anemic lighting known to man (and woman). Talk about seeing yourself in a horrible light, pun intended. Reality crashes down pretty damn quickly, proving that indeed, perception is reality. The point here is that if we want to, we can find a reason to find flaw with and dislike many aspects of ourselves.

So the easy thing here, besides simply loving ourselves for the imperfect creatures that we are, is to adjust our perceptions, since they lead us to our realities. Consciously register the hypocrisy of deception when inundated with images of the perfect people. If you need proof, catch an issue of People Magazine as they publish the ‘sneak’ photographs of the movie stars and pop culture icons out and about “on the street” without their team of marketing change agents. They don’t look any better than you or I. Whew!

Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better

A healthy self-image is the first pre-cursor to avoiding the pain associated with chasing the Impossible Standard, that of assumed perfection. Changing our perception and silly hero worship of the fake and bake perfect people is a great second step. Finding the positive attributes we all possess and concentrating and feeling thanks for them is also good step forward. Unfortunately, we as humans seem to be pre-disposed to focusing on the few negatives we can all find if we search hard enough, when in fact most of us are blessed with a plethora of positive bounty for which we should be eternally grateful. The glass is half-full, people!

                “I have more issues than Vogue.”
                             ~ LMAO, as seen recently on a T-shirt, Venice Beach, CA


PS: Have you been suckered into the false worship of the Impossible     Standard? Tell us your story...